Miss Chatelaine.

Unlike one of my favourite Canadian singers - kd lang - I am NOT "Miss Chatelaine"  kd lang could not explain why she's "Miss Chatelaine."  I am fully aware why I am not....

To tell the truth - I don't read most popular magazines.  Not that I don't like reading.  My favourite magazines are professional journals and Scientific American.  It's just that I don't like reading a magazine that is almost all literally advertising.  What is not literally advertising are articles and photo spreads that might as well be advertising.

I work full time outside the home.  I commute almost an hour each way (on public transit of course :))  I have two young children, both in elementary school.  I have a husband.  I have a cat.  I have a home to maintain.  I don't have time to make a beautiful dinner (laid out on shabby chic plates).  I don't have time (or money) to shop for the latest designer fashions and worry about the perfect hair colour and style for a a woman who is cougar aged.  I am not interested in the sweetest little picture frames and candle holders to decorate my mantle.  I have no desire to have an "outdoor room" of patio furniture which costs more than the couch in my living room.

Chatelaine, Good Housekeeping, Canadian Living, Family Circle, et al show the good life (with the purchase of all the good products) as a normal expectation. 

It is little wonder that consumer debt is at an all time high.   It is not surprising that we are all so stressed.

Close the magazine.  Remember my first post - You don't need to be the fictional images seen in Women's Magazines to be fabulous.

As for meals, try this:  It's a weekday.  It's just the immediate family.  You've worked 8 plus hours and want to spend some down time with the ones you love.  The Frugal Cougar gives you permission to open a tin of No Name deep brown beans, make some rice (or make toast) and steam some veggies (or make a simple salad).  Viola - protein, carbs and green stuff.  Have an some apples and bananas for dessert.   Don't worry - the Martha Stewart Police Squad will not raid your home and take over.  It's okay to have simple, inexpensive food for a meal. 

You don't need expensive take out.  You also don't need to be a sous chef every single day.  Relax.   Be frugal and be content.

As for clothes and hair.  Think about this:  The Frugal Cougar is 43 years old.  I've got a little gray hair.  What colour is it suppose to be????  I'm middle aged.  I've had a C-section for each of my children.  I work at a high stress job.  Yeah - I'm thinking I've earned a few grey hair.  I refuse to dye it and I refuse to think that looking like I'm 30 (when I am a decade and a bit older)  is normal.
I wear comfortable, clean clothes in good repair.  I try on a pair of thrift store jeans and think - does my cougar ass look good?  Are the jeans a timeless boot cut (no big flares and no pencil legs - these get dated quickly)?  Are they well made and does the colour/style look good on me.  If the answer to these is "yes" - then I buy the jeans.  I don't care about the brand.  I don't care about the trends.  I go for classic and timeless.  If I wanted trendy - I might try an accessory (on sale, of course).  But I don't need "Chatelaine" telling me what to wear.

Wear what you like.  Wear what looks good on you.  Be tidy.  If wearing clothes for work - be professional.  Relax.  Be comfortable in your own style choices.

As for decor.  Let this sink in:  Think of your grandparents home.  They probably had the same couch for 40 years.  They had pictures on the walls (probably a few of you!).  They had some decorative items that they acquired over the years.  They DIDN'T feel the need to completely change their decor every few years to keep up with so-called trends.  Your grandparents were wise.   Emulate them.

Find something better to read than glossy advertisements (in the form of women's magazines, catalogs, sales fliers, etc).  I like suspense novels, science fiction, romance, essays, science writing, social economics/psychology, and local history.  Go to the library.  Avoid the magazines (except those that don't concentrate on massive advertising and fluff).  Spend time browsing materials that give you information, entertainment, and insight without making you feel that you need to go out and buy something.

When you stop comparing yourself to "Miss Chatelaine" - you will be more comfortable and more satisfied with your life and your own way of doing things without the constant enticement of buying more and more.

BTW - the Frugal Cougar's dear husband enjoys photography.  He advises that there is beauty in everything.  If he was let loose in your home - he would photograph whatever it is that you have so that it would look like it graced the pages of a magazine.  You are "Miss Chatelaine" already! :)